The Day It All Started
“You look like a poor me type,” he told me. “A pour me a drink type.”
It was 2009 and I was sitting in a chair across from a psychologist. It was our first meeting and my hand was bandaged and throbbing after a physical altercation with my ex (a story for another day, or you can read about it in my first book, Domestic Violence on Ice which has a happy ending).
As I heard his words, I felt outrage. How could someone who has sat with me make such judgements? I was simmering with anger, I felt offended and my ego was bruised.
As my psychologist observed me, while taking notes, writing away on his sheets of paper.
He continued on, commenting about my nice red jacket, my nice car, and that I look like someone from a nice life. Then he said the words, “I really think you should take a look at the Law of Attraction.” And continued to make notes on paper.
I’ll never forget his words. With that, I set off to my local library across the car park from McDonalds in Papamoa plaza. I found The Key to Living the Law of Attraction by Jack Canfield, and began.
Try this: Start with one book. That’s all it takes.
The Practice That Changed Everything
Besides being heartbroken and down and out, I was also miserable, and in one of the stack of books I brought home, I discovered affirmations and gratitude practices.
I was determined to find happiness and I started right away. I had a small notebook, and every evening I would write the words, “today I’m grateful for…” and find three to five things. Every day.
Some days I really struggled. I was deeply stuck in the throes of victimhood. Why me, poor me, look at him over there partying, no kids, doing whatever he wants and I’m a miserable single mum. Who will ever want to be with me with two kids? I’ve ruined my life. You get the idea.
And so it began. Some days I was angry and bitter so I would be grateful for sunshine or my blanket or chocolate, and as time wore on I learned, actually, there was plenty to be grateful for.
At the same time, I also walked around the house saying the words I still say to this very day more than 17 years later: “I love my life, my life is awesome.”
Back when I started I felt so ridiculous. My life was clearly not awesome and there was no way I loved it. Yet eventually something shifted.
As I was scooping baby poop out of the bath one day, still saying the words, I smiled. Actually, it’s true, I thought.
My life really was awesome and although I wasn’t quite at “I fully love my life,” I no longer hated my life.
Try this: Get a small notebook. Tonight, write “today I’m grateful for…” and find three things. They can be small — sunshine, your blanket, chocolate. Do it again tomorrow.
Writing My Dreams Down
As I read the stories about creating a list of 100 dreams, I began to understand the power of manifesting on paper. I pulled out my pens and paper and began writing my wildest dreams. I didn’t anticipate it would be so difficult.
I was inspired, journalling and tapping into my guides. Seeing my dream life on paper felt like I was making magic and although I couldn’t see it right away, it was my earliest success in manifesting.
I wrote out what my dream boyfriend would be like. I noted he would be musical and creative, someone who made me laugh and someone who would share my dreams. No regrets writing that on paper, because sure enough, a little over a year later, I manifested my dream relationship as a result.
Within a year my life had completely changed.
The more I wrote, the more I let go and started my healing journey. And as I continued it became easier to believe that I would manifest everything I’d written on those sheets of paper.
While some people are fans of the 369 method, and maybe that would speed things along for those who have the space and energy for it, for me, less was definitely more. I’ll share more on my insights around this in another post on another day.
Try this: Sit down and write out the wildest version of your life. Your dream relationship, your dream home, your dream day. Don’t edit. Don’t be sensible. Let the soul speak, not the logical brain.
The Leap That Made No Sense (And Everything Sense)
I listened to the call of my soul. It told me I needed to go north and I needed to explore the beaches. In hindsight I didn’t need to explore at all. I knew exactly where I was going, but checking the beaches on the way was a logical brain requirement to ensure I didn’t make a mistake.
I arrived in Paihia, Bay of Islands, and instantly fell in love. Much the way I did the first time I visited the region as a young teenager.
It was the middle of winter, rain forecast all week. And I decided to play a game with the universe. I sat on the beach and wrote. My dreams were there on the paper in my hands. I said: if I wake up tomorrow to sunshine, I’m going to move here.
And against all odds, I woke up in the morning to a clear sky and sunshine. I called my mum to tell her. And more serendipity happened as someone had asked about her house, the one I was living in, and wanted to move in a few weeks.
Try this: Write a deal with the universe. Give it a specific sign to respond to. Be precise. Then pay attention to what shows up.
The House That Was Waiting
So I packed up my life, and my kids, put it on a truck, destination Paihia, no home yet (and trust me the removalist thought I was odd), and drove to paradise to find a home. I had two days. Every real estate agent told me I made the dumbest decision ever and I would be homeless, there was nothing available for a family of three. I was dreaming.
A bit deflated, I went and sipped a flat white in the tiny alley between buildings called the mall. I looked up from my coffee and the notice board beckoned me to come look. A small piece of paper caught my eye: paradise view, 3 bedrooms.
I called the number. He asked if I could come look soon. I met him shortly after. I stepped through the front door and was sold on the view.
The house itself was old and worn out, but by gosh, the view really was paradise. My heart already said yes. I was terrified to ask the price. $350 a week, he said. I did the maths in my head and thought, oh, it will be tight but I can do it. Yes. And we moved in a few days later.
What Writing Your Dreams Actually Does
Since that day, I’m dedicated to writing my dreams. And what I know, what is stronger than writing what the ego wants, is to write down the soul’s desires. To see your dream life written down on paper activates something. And if you’re tuning in to your soul desires, it will land much faster than you expect.
“That’s what manifesting on paper does. It prevents the dream living only in your head and having it in words on a piece of paper or in a book helps to bring that dream to life.”
Where to Start
If you’ve never tried writing your dreams down, here’s where I’d start:
- Get a notebook. Not an app. Paper. There’s something about the physical act that matters.
- Start with gratitude. Write three things you’re grateful for tonight. They can be tiny. Do it every evening.
- Say it even when you don’t believe it. Pick one sentence about the life you want and say it out loud each day. Let the gap between the words and your reality close slowly.
- Tip: if you feel deep resistance, you may need to reframe what you say. For example, if “I love my life, my life is awesome” is bringing up resistance, soften it to “I’m learning to fall in love with my life and the more I love my life and myself, the more awesome my life becomes.”
- Write the dream. Sit down and describe your ideal life in as much detail as you can — your home, your relationship, your mornings. Don’t edit. Don’t be practical.
- Make a deal with the universe. When you’re facing a big decision, write it down and give the universe a specific sign. Then watch what shows up.
- Write for the soul, not the ego. The things that land fastest are the ones that come from somewhere deeper than want.